Hi, I met this guy a week before my birthday and coincidently, his birthday isthe same as mine and we are both the same age.
We started seeing each other during the week, I met all the "boys" andeveryone thought we were together. I don't blame them as we were acting likea couple. Everything was great. This went on for about 2 months. . At firstI was a bit unsure and didn't think much of it or let myself have feelingsfor him just in case it was just another saturday night pick-up which wouldlead to nothing. Yet slowly,slowly,I started to really like him.
He would tell me that I meant a lot to him and that I was special to him.I was really happy, things were looking good. The last few weeks I'vehardly seen him, or spoken to him. I've tried to arrange things with him tocatch up etc but he always had something going on. We weren't officialtherefore I didn't think much of it. One weekend he was sick and I was upsetso I bit the bullet and asked him what was going on between us. He repliedto me that he didn't care what happened, whatever I wanted .
I spoke about this to his best friend as we are pretty close and he wasshocked and thought it was a bit weird. I haven't seem him in about a weeknow, yet he turns up to my indoor soccer grand final to watch. Last saturdayI saw him at the club we always go to... we bumped into each other and bothwere happy to see each other. We kissed and went along and danced witheveryone else. After a while he came up to hug me, the conversationcontinued and he broke up with me!
He told me that he didn't feelcomfortable with a girlfriend as he wants to see his friends and be withthem; if he was with me, h'd have to make time for me as well which would behard. He also told me that he likes me a lot and that he was really reallysorry for this, and that he wants me to still be a close mate and to stillsee me and whatever. He kept on making sure I was ok and saying how sorry hewas. We still had our arms around each other and we still kissed in betweenthe conversation...
I moved away to get some space and to think about it all. All night I sawhim dancing away as my friends tried to cheer me up and I could see in hisface he was a bit upset, especially when this girl started dancing with him.As I left, I pulled him aside to say goodbye, because at the end of the dayI still wanted to be friends and he does too. I thanked him for being honestwith me and he said that he was so sorry again. We kissed again almost as ifnothing was wrong. We just looked at each other and I could see he was sad.That was it. I have no idea what I'm meant to do. Am I meant to just leaveit and be friends, accept it and when i see him every Saturday at the club,pretend it didnt happen? I know that if I was to try and kiss him again, hewould because he still likes me... I just don't understand his reasons fornot wanting me.
The hardest part now is if i see him with another girl... I do want to staygood friends with him... I suppose I'm still hoping that he'll change hismind with time and just succumb to his feelings and be with me. What are your thoughts?
It's always hurtful to break up especially when it's the other person'schoice but this guy has been straight with you and clearly still reallylikes you. I don't know that you have much choice other than to accept hisdecision. Relationships take up a lot of energy and all he's really sayingis that he wants to enjoy being single without having to consider yourfeelings.
Yes, he might change his mind at any time. If you can `go with theflow,' it would be good to hang in there, still join in with the group andenjoy the club etc but if it's going to be too painful, take a break for awhile. I wouldn't kiss him because if you're not his girlfriend, it's notappropriate. Always keep your own dignity. It will work out better in theend.
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