What is the Status of your Relationship?

How many coffees have you had with your girlfriends debating over the status of the new man in your life? What is he? What are you to him? The questions spin and spin in our heads! What I seem to be wondering, more than anything else is what determines the relationship becoming more than just a ‘fling’? Or is it called ‘being together’?

When do you go from ‘date’ or ‘fling’ to ‘girlfriend’ or ‘partner’? Is it when you meet the parents and the family or when you get introduced to the friends? This grey area needs defining!

One-night-stands, explain that! The term seems to me that after one night together it should just be one night, one dot dot dot and no more. But if it happens again does it turn into a fling or a two-night-stand? That just doesn’t have the same ring to it...

Do you only become ‘together’ in a relationship as ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ if the question is asked? I don’t think ‘popping the question’ is exactly used to describe him asking you to become his ‘boyfriend’ (giggle giggle). But how do you know when you go from being ‘just a girl I hooked up with’ or ‘just a girl I’m dating’ to ‘this is my lovely girlfriend (insert your name right here)?

I thought the question had to be asked, but if it hasn’t been asked what are you between dating/fling and long time lover? It’s a grey area, an unexplainable grey area.Is it okay to be referred to as the ‘girlfriend’ if there has been no ‘popping of the question’? I guess so, it loses the long awkward moments between the, is it a yes and do they think this is heading too fast? But is it okay to just turn around one day and just refer to him as your boyfriend? I don’t think so, I guess if a man did it though...

A million things tick over in ones mind, I’m sure a woman’s mind does triple the thinking than a man, although I’m slightly biased, but does he actually think about us and worry how to introduce us to his parents, or his friends? Probably not... Although I’m sure the latest sport isn’t the only thing in his mind. I’m also pretty sure that the other species doesn’t refresh your ‘Facebook’ page on a regular basis, to see who he has been commenting, and if it was about them. Come on ladies we are all guilty of that! No? Just me? Well at least I can admit it!

Another question that stumps me as a woman is when is the right time to call the person your partner? It sounds so lame and slightly teenagerish to say “no, not for me, it is an appointment for my boyfriend... it should be partner, or as the recent Sex and the City movie suggested ‘manfriend’. What confuses me about the word partner is how long into a relationship can you say partner? What if you have only been his girlfriend for a week? Are you still able to use the partner term? Well I guess you’d be booted if you started making appointments on their behalf in the first week...

The results are in; the majority of women want to meet Mr. Charming by the age of 30. Mr. Charming must tick all the boxes, sense of humour, tick! Charm, tick! Ability to have fun, tick! Fast car, tick! Great looks tick! He makes you smile and he is available, tick!

I think ‘Facebook’ got it right with the status: ‘it’s complicated’. Isn’t it always! The conclusion I have come to is that to be safe the status should always be ‘it’s complicated’ unless of course it is engaged (hello sparkling ring!) or married. I’ve come to realise that unless you speak about actually being ‘together’ in a relationship ‘it’s complicated’ is a better status than so and so has gone from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’.

I’ve pondered and pondered on these questions the only answer I have for you is to have many more coffees debating the newest man to enter your life (come on it’s fun) and don’t think too much (you might get a headache) laugh and live a little but keep searching for Mr. Right, (or Mr. Right Now). Either way keep an eye out, but remember us ladies need to stick together, friends are everything!