You are at: > Love & Relationships

The Brain in Relationships

h3TheBraininRelationshipsh3pThehumanbrainisextremelycomplexandthiscomplexitymirrorsitselfinthenatureofhumanrelationshipsespeciallywhenitcomestolove.Ultimatelywhatdrivesalllivingorganismsisbiologyandwehumanbeingsarenoexception.TheneedforprocreationtokeepourspeciesgoingliesdeepalsointhehumanDNAitissomethingwesharewithalllivingorganisms.Whatwedonrsquotshareisourhumanconsciousnesstheabilitytobeawareofourselves.Thisabilitydrivesustosomethingbeyondmereprocreationandthecontinuationofourspeciessomethingfarmorecomplex.brbrTakeamomenttoconsideralltheelementsthatleadstomillionsofvariationsofbeinghuman.Wehumanbeingsareamanifestationoflifeforcedrivenbybiologygeneticprogrammingandpredispositions.Weareshapedformedandprogrammedfirstbyaninternalenvironmentourmotherrsquoswombandthentheexternalenvironmentfamilycommunityandculturetomakeitsindelibleimpression.Boththeinternalandexternalenvironmentgreatlyinfluencedourbrainstructurewhichinturnshapedourvaluesbeliefsandbehavior.Itdeterminedourabilityandcapabilityhowandwhatwelearnandthereforeourfuture.brbrstrongTheBrainThatIsAwareOfItselfstrongbrWehavetheabilitytobeawaretoobserveourselvestoexaminetoquestionandchangeourownbehaviorandchangeourbrainstructurebydoingso.Weareawareofourthoughtsfeelingsemotionsandbehaviourandcandirectlyanddeliberatelyinfluencethese.Therearemanyparadoxesinourneedstraitsandbehaviour.Wehavetheabilitytobecreativeanddestructiveourbrainisdesignedtobealtruisticsocialaswellasseekingselfgratification.Wehaveaneedforconnectionandprotectiontobelongandbeseparatetoloveandbeloved.Wehavetheabilitytofantasise.Wecanimagineourselvesintothefuturewhilebeingabletorememberourpast.Wehaveneedsmakeassumptionsandhavehopesdreamsaspirationsandexpectations.Wehaveideasanddesireshowourrelationshiprsquoshouldrsquoorlsquooughtrsquotobe.brbrstrongTheUniqueBrainstrongbrWhiletherearecoreneedsthatmosthealthyfunctioninghumanbeingssharenotoneofusseestheworldthesameway.Eachofusseestheworldthroughdifferentlensessoweallexperiencetheworlddifferently.Everybrainislikeamapofacountryeachwithitsownuniquegeographyinfrastructurecultureandlanguageetc.Justlikeeachindividualfingerprintisuniquesoiseveryhumanbrainnoonebrainisthesame.IsitanywonderthatrelatingtootherhumanbeingscanbesochallengingbrbrstrongTheBraininLovestrongbrThehumanbrainisoneofthemostwondrousandcomplexorgansontheplanetcapableofthemostextraordinaryendeavoursyetneurosciencetellsusthatwhenitcomestochoosingalsquomatersquowegenerallydothiswiththemostprimitiveleastlogicalpartofourbrain.Welsquoselectrsquoandfallinlovewithourpartnerbasedonapowerfulcombinationofageneticandbiologicalblueprintinfluencingourfeelingsandemotions.Yetwearedeludedintothinkingthatwemakechoicesbasedonlogicaldeliberationandreasoning.brbrHoweverthelogicalreasoningandtheanalyticalpartofthebrainthefrontalcortexdoesnotgetmuchofalookinwhilelsquofallinginloversquoisinprogress.Youonlyhavetolookatthedivorcestatisticstoconfirmthis.Asamatteroffactthethinkingandreasoningpartofthebraingetssentonaholidaybythreepowerfulforcesbiologyfeelingsandfantasy.IflogiccomesbackprematurelyduringthestageoffallinginloveitoftengetssendawayagainwiththoughtssuchasnotnowwearehavingagoodtimeitfeelssorightIknowthisismysoulmateitislikewehaveknoweachotherforeveryesIknowhesheisnotperfectbutitwillchangeweareinloveandloveconquersallIknowhersquostemperamentalbuthecanbesoniceetc.brbrstrongTheBrainThatWearsGlassesstrongbrThereisarealtruthinthesayingloveisblind.Blindloveisadiminishedfrontalcortexfunctioning.Thelightsaredimmedandthelimbicsystemputsonrosecolouredglasses.Whilethefrontalcortexiskeptinthedarkduringthisinitialattractiontimesoonerorlateritisboundtosurface.Bythenthelsquoinloversquovoicemighthavechangeditsmindandsohasthedialogue.WhatthehellamIdoinghereWhatdidIseeinthispersonIthoughtheshewouldchange.Ithoughtthiswouldlastforeveretc.Idonrsquotfeelthesameanymore.Naturedoesagreatjobdespiteoursophisticatedbrainfunctioningitgetspeopletogetheryesforbetterandforworse.Itwasnotthatlongagothatmanypeoplegottogetherforreasonsotherthanromanticlovesuchaseconomicandsecurityreasons.Whilefallinginloveisoneofthemostwonderfulandpowerfulhumanexperiencesthathasgivenbirthtothemostexquisitepaintingmusicandliteratureitisalsooneofthemostprecariousstages.Manypeoplethinkthatbeinginloveisthedefaultpositionoftherelationshipandwhenthisstageevolvesintothenextthatsomethinghasgonewrong.brbrstrongTheBrainThatGrowsInLovestrongbrOfcoursetherearemanysituationswherepeopledonrsquotgetsweptofftheirfeetandfallinlovesuchasinarrangedmarriagesorwherefriendshipevolvesintoaloverelationship.Interestinglyinthesesituationsthechanceofthefrontalcontextfunctioningbeinghijackedislesslikelyandthereappearstobeabetterchanceoftherelationshipnotonlytosurvivebutflourish.Researchalsoshowsthatcoupleswhoconsciouslypreparethemselvesfortherelationshipaswellasthemarriageratherthanjusttheweddingdayhaveamuchbetterchanceinitbeingamoresuccessfulandfulfillingrelationship.Itappearsthatlsquogrowinginloversquoseemslessexcitingyetmoresustainable.brbrstrongTheBrainThatSeparatesstrongbrMorethaneverbeforedorelationshipsendupindivorceandchildrenlivewitheitheroneparentortheother.Ononehandthisbraindynamicofoverpoweringthefrontalcortexhasservedourspecieswellintermsofprocreationontheotherhandithasmadehumanrelationshipmorecomplexthananyotherspeciesonthisplanet.Wehumansdonrsquotseemtofaretoowellwiththiscomplexityandmanyareunabletomovetherelationshipbeyondtheinitialemotionalfunctioning.brbrstrongTheBrainThatIntegratesstrongbrWhilewemightchooseourpartnerbasedongeneticsbiologyandthemostprimitivepartofthebrainthisdoesnotmeanthatthelimbicsystemhastokeepholdofandcontroltherelationshiplikeitappearstodoinsomanyrelationships.Theintegrationofprefrontalcortexwithlimbicsystemisnecessaryfortheemotionalandwellbeingoftherelationship.brbrstrongTheEmotionallyIntelligentBrainstrongbrEmotionalintelligenceplaysamostimportantandmajorroleinbeingabletolsquodancewiththeflowofcomplexityrsquoratherthantryingtocontrolitorwhatmostpeopletrytodotrytochangetheotherperson.Itisimportanttohaveanunderstandinginsightandawarenessofeachotherrsquosmap.Itisalsoimportanttounderstandthestagesofhumanrelationshipsandtheelementsthatsustainasuccessfulrelationship.brbrEspeciallywhenitinvolvesthepeoplewelovepeopleweoweittoyourselfandthemtofosterthisintegrationthroughengaginginhigherbrainfunctioningespeciallyintheventromedialmiddleprefrontalcortex.PartofthissectiontheorbitofrontalcortexOFConesynapseawayfromthelimbicsystembrainstemandneocortexservesasthebrainrsquosemotionregulationsystemandrdquochiefexecutiveofficerrdquoofthesocialemotionalbrain.Itfunctionsattheinterfaceofhigherandlowerbrainregionsintegratingneocorticalandlimbicfunctions.TheOFCcalmsdowntheamygdalaandhelpsusmakehealthyandconstructivechoicesinkeepingwithourgoalsandvaluesitallowsustorespondbasedoninformationratherthanreactbecauseoflackofimpulsecontrol.WhenwedevelopselfawarenessandawarenessofothersandwhenwedevelopcompassionandempathyweactivateandencouragetheOFC.Whilewecannotchangeourbiologicalandgeneticblueprintortheenvironmentwegrewupinwecertainlydonothavetobeheldhostagebythese.Theextraordinaryabilityforthehumanbraintobeabletoreflectuponitselfbringswithitaresponsibilitytodosoandtoshiftthebrainintohigherfunctioningespeciallywhenitcomestothebraininrelationship.brbrstrongTaodeHaasstrongbrbrTaodewillbespeakingattheinauguralBrainArtExhibitionandUnconferencefromMarch3rdndash12th2011atGlobalGalleryPaddingtonSydneyndashaneventwhichwillexplorehowwecanapplyneurosciencetobetterunderstandaspectsofeverydaylife.Formoreinformationandticketspleasevisitarelnofollowhrefhttpwww.brainartexhibition.comtargetblankwww.brainartexhibition.coma.brbrTaoDeHaasisahighlyexperiencedprofessional.Hehasauniqueholisticapproachtogetherwitharemarkableabilitytocombinepsychotherapeutictheoryandsocialawarenesswithpracticalsimpleandeasytoimplementstrategies.brbrBornintheNetherlandsin1950TaodeHaasmovedtoAustraliain1973.ForovertwentyfiveyearsTaohashelpedofthousandsofpeopleachievetheirfullpotentialthroughhislecturesseminarsworkshopsconsultingworkmentoringandcoaching.TaoisaregularkeynotespeakerforbusinessorganisationsandhasdeliverededucationalprogrammesinEurope.brbrTaoDeHaasspecialisesinemotionalintelligenceEQpeopleskillscommunicationmanagementandleadershiptraining.Taomakesregularappearancesonnationalradioandtelevisionprograms.HehasbeeninterviewedonallmajorSydneyradiostationsaswellasseveralinterviewsonABCradio2BL.ABCTVThe7.30reportdidafeatureonhisworkwithstudentsandparentsinpreparationfortheHSCexams.TaoalsomadeseveralappearancesonChannel10sGoodmorningAustraliaaswellasnumerousappearancesonChannel7rsquosSunriseprogramwerehedealswithcurrentrelationshiptopics.HeisapublishedauthorandwritesforTheHeraldnewspaperaswellasmagazinessuchasCharterpublishedbytheInstitudeofCharteredAccountantsAustralia.TaohashisownproductioncompanyproducinginformativeeducationalandEQtrainingTVsegmentscalledJustaMinute.SeeMediapageTaoDeHaashasbeenaseniorlecturerincounsellingattwomainSydneycolleges.brbrKnownforhispassionatecreativeinspiringandentertainingteachingmethodshereceivedthemostinspirationallectureroftheyearawardwhenlecturingatNatureCarecollegeinSydneyTaohasworkedasaneducatortrainerwiththeConflictResolutionNetworkinSydney.TaohasalsoworkedwithbothteachersparentsandstudentsdeliveringaprogrammeinmanyhighschoolscalledAchievingYourPersonalBest.ThisprogrammewasdesignedtohelpstudentsandtheirparentsmentallyprepareforHSCexams.ThisprogrammewasfeaturedontheABCs7.30Report.TaoDeHaasisamusicianandartist.brbrHecomposedthemusicforhisCDTheUltimateStressBusterMeditationCDtogetherwiththetalentedSydneycomposerMatthewJones.Taouseshiscreativityinsupportingpeopletodiscoverandexpresstheiruniquegifts.TaoDeHaasloveshisworkandliveshispassion.brbrItrsquosAllAboutMyBrainbrAustraliarsquosfirstBrainArtExhibitionandUnconferencewilltakeplaceinMarch2011brbrFromMarch3to122011theintricaciesofthemindwillbeunveiledtothepublicatAustraliarsquosfirstBrainArtExhibitionandUnconferenceinSydney.BringingtogetherthecommunitiesofneurosciencebusinessandtheartstheinauguraleventwillbeopentothepublicwiththeaimofincreasingawarenessaboutthebrainanditsappliedlearninginAustralia.brbrTheUnconferenceisamixtureoftalksgroupdiscussionsandworkshopsfocusingonthefollowingtopicsTheCreativeBrainTheEmotionalBrainTheWorkingBrainTheBraininRelationships.brbrWorldleadersinthefieldsofNeuroleadershipandEmotionalIntelligencewillexploretherelationshipbetweenthebraincreativityandbusinessperformanceinsessionssuchaslsquoWorkSexandRelationshipstoMindGamesandStrategicThinkingandEntrepreneurialBrainPowerrsquo.brbrSilviaDamianoUnconferenceDirectorandFounderofAboutMyBrainexplainshermotivationbehindtheeventbrldquoThereareatleast30000neuroscientistsaroundtheworldmakingnewdiscoverieseveryday.Knowinghowourbrainworkscanhelpusunderstandhowwesolveproblemsmakedecisionsthinkcreativelydealwithchangeandmanageourrelationships.rdquobrbrApplyingthesefindingsineverydaylifeandtheworkplacecanhelpusincreaseourcreativityenhanceourperformancethinkmorelaterallyandgenerallybemoreeffectiveineverythingwedo.InadditiontoincreasingunderstandingofapplyingtheseleaningstheeventisalsoafabulouswayofshowcasingyoungandemergingcreativetalentinSydneyrdquoshefinished.brbrHighlightsoftheweeklongeventseriesincludetheExhibitionLaunchNightwhenattendeeswillgettoknowthefinalistsofthecompetitionsandvoteforthePeoplersquosChoiceAwardandtheFundraisingAwardsNightwhenthejudgeswillannounceprizesforeachcategoryandaliveauctionofthefeaturedartistsworkwilltakeplace.brbrEmergingartistandprolificpainterillustratorinstallationandperformanceartistJulieDoylersquosworkhasbeenfeaturedinthepromotionalmaterialfortheevent.DuringtheexhibitionJuliewillbepaintingliveasetofcanvassesthatcoverafourmetrewall.HerworkwillbefeaturedattheFundraisingAwardsNight.brbrFormoreinformationabouttheBrainArtExhibitionUnconferenceandCompetitionpleasevisitarelnofollowhrefhttpwww.brainartexhibition.comtargetblankwww.brainartexhibition.coma.CompetitionentriescloseJanuary22nd2011.brbrstrongBrainArtExhibitionandUnconferencestrongbrMarch3rd12th2011brGlobalGalleryPaddingtonSydneystrongbrbrstrongp


 



Top
 
Join our VIP Club
Enter Competitions
Add to Bookmarks
Free Toolbar Download
VIP member - Login

Last minute hotel reservation!