FIRST DATE NERVES
Whether you are fifteen or twenty-five, nothing can be more nerve-racking than going on a date with a potential boyfriend for the first time. And those jitters can multiple if the date is a "blind" one that has been set up by annoying but well-meaning friends.
My friends have been guilty of doing this on a number of occasions. I recall one night when a friend of mine practically begged me to come with her to a work dinner. I thought nothing of it at the time and decided to go along. Little did I know that there was more to this dinner than my friend was letting on. When I arrived at the restaurant, my friend was nowhere in sight, nor were her work colleagues. But sitting at a table with a huge grin on his face was my friend's housemate! It was then that I realised that I had been tricked and that in actual fact, I was never going to have dinner with my friend but I had been set up on a blind date. After the initial embarrassment, the night turned out to be OK but I didn't talk to my friend or her housemate for a few days after the incident.
Dating can be a petrifying experience at any time with so many fears running through your mind in the lead up to the BIG first date. What if the conversation dries up before the arrival of the main meal? Then there is the stress about deciding what to wear and the multiple questions that follow. Will HE like me? Will I like HIM? What if he turns out to be a complete loser?!
Unfortunately no one can predict the outcome or the success of a first date so the key really is to relax and to just go with the flow. I know, I know, easier said than done hey? But dates can actually be a whole lot of fun if they are thought out and planned properly and oh, it helps if both parties are aware that they are going out on a date too! (A little note to my dear friends!)
Follow these few simple steps and you will be well on your way to dating success!
1. The key is to be YOURSELF. Don't try to act like somebody else, let the REAL YOU shine through. After all, you don't want your date falling in love with the girl you are pretending to be. Let him fall in love with the girl you are.
2. Conversation should be kept light-hearted. Don't grill him or probe too deeply into his personal life as you may run the risk of scaring him off! Talk about common interests you may have and really get to know each other before you start asking him how big his bank account is!
3. Arrange to meet your date on neutral territory. This will alleviate the pressure off both of you and is a far safer option than meeting at his house!
4. Make a good first impression. You know the old saying "first impressions count", well they REALLY do! Presentation is everything so leave the jeans and sneakers at home for at least one night and put a bit of effort into your outfit. Don't overdo it though, as you don't want to stand out for all the wrong reasons! Just have fun with your wardrobe, wear threads you are going to be comfortable in and that reflect your personality.
5. Brush Your Teeth! There is nothing worse than breathing last night's garlic all over your date. Errk! And parsley, strawberry seeds or anything that can get stuck between your teeth is definitely not a good look. So stock up on toothpaste prior to your date, for a fresh, minty appeal. It will certainly come in handy for the next tip.
6. To kiss on a first date or not to kiss? That is the question. Some people will agree that you should, others will advise you to let him sweat it out for a little while longer. The decision is really up to each individual. As long as you feel comfortable and the chemistry is there, then there is no harm in giving your date a friendly kiss or two or three. After all, it is important to try before you buy and this way, there is no room for error later!
- Annemarie Failla