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Rewrite Your Story, Reclaim Your Power, Build The Life You Love
By Caitlin Judd
Be quiet. Don't be loud. Don't rock the boat. Don't be ridiculous. Don't cause trouble. Smile. You can't do that. You can't wear that. That's not for you. You're too much. Don't cause a fuss. Don't make a mess. Say sorry. Don't talk back. Mind your manners. Clean it up. Put it away. Tone it down. How dare you.
Smile, darling.
Be a Good Girl.
Two small words. Heavy with history.
The 'Good Girl' begins as childhood praise, but quickly becomes a role girls are trained to perform, one that follows many women into adulthood.
She learns to keep the peace, lower her voice, swallow her anger, apologise when she's done nothing wrong, and shape herself to fit into a world that was never designed for her.
'Keep it up long enough and it doesn't feel like an act anymore. It feels like...you.' Author of Good Girl Goodbye, Caitlin Judd says.
And the rules for being a 'Good Girl' show up everywhere in society.
From early praise at home to school rules, workplace cultures and family expectations, the Good Girl script is reinforced everywhere. Be kind, but not demanding. Ambitious, but not threatening. Independent, but not intimidating. Easy going, attractive, grateful "and above all, agreeable.
She's even reinforced through our dating apps. Swipe after swipe, profile after profile, her 'requirements' are listed: Be kind, adventurous, down to earth, laugh at my jokes, look after your body, have a positive outlook, be fun but also serious " oh and be a unicorn.
Over time, this constant self-editing trains women to monitor themselves relentlessly, prioritising likeability over authenticity.
The result?
Women who appear successful on the outside but feel anxious, flat, resentful and disconnected on the inside.
Caitlin explores how generations of women have been conditioned to adapt, contort and self-silence in order to belong, and the heavy psychological, emotional and physical toll that comes with it.
'Women aren't just tired. They're wired, overwhelmed and quietly burning out,' she says.
Research shows, globally, women are almost twice as likely as men to experience anxiety and report significantly higher rates of major depression " a disparity that continues to grow.
While burnout is often dismissed as being 'too busy' or 'not coping', Caitlin reframes it as a biological and emotional warning system " the body's final attempt to demand change. And she knows this pattern all too well…
A successful businesswoman, award-winning podcast host and co-founder of a major community for women founders, she had ticked every box of modern success. But beneath the productivity and praise, she realised she had spent years shapeshifting " managing others' comfort, anticipating expectations and suppressing her own needs.
I wasn't failing, I was adapting. And adaptation kept me safe, until it didn't. My Good Girl pretzeled herself into knots…all the things I hadn't said, all the things I stopped myself from doing. They'd been building inside me like pressure in a cheap plastic microwave rice cooker. The anger I felt had been disguised as sadness, grief, loss and shame. Those feelings kept me contained, but they also kept me from my truth.
Everywhere I looked, I saw the same threads: women doubting themselves, bending over backwards for approval, working twice as hard to feel half as worthy. I saw it in them. I saw it in me. And then, when I finally stopped rushing and gave myself some space, the penny dropped. The Good Girl wasn't just visiting; she'd been living rent-free inside me.
In her book, Caitlin tackles burnout, anxiety and dissatisfaction, not as personal shortcomings, but as predictable responses to systems that reward women for endurance and self-abandonment, asking them to carry too much.
From childhood, girls learn that speaking up is risky, anger is unacceptable and boldness may cost them love or safety. The body responds accordingly: breath shortens, muscles tighten, the nervous system stays on high alert. Over time, many women live in chronic stress states, mistaking endurance for strength and compliance for resilience.
Good Girl, Goodbye is about what Caitlin calls "the unbecoming" " the process of recognising the patterns that once protected us, and consciously choosing something different.
Through psychology, neuroscience, cultural analysis and lived experience, she introduces recognisable Good Girl archetypes, including the Perfectionista, the Cool Girl, the Milestone Maker, the Saint and the Gold Star Girl, helping readers name the patterns that have kept them stuck, silent or chronically depleted.
It isn't about blame or rejection, Caitlin says, but rather that "being a Good Girl" is not a deficit, it's a cultural script with a very distinct and restrictive story line.
The intention now is not to erase her, but to see her clearly, thank her for the work she's done in keeping you safe, and to stop letting her run the show.
At its core, the book offers a compassionate, practical framework to help women rebuild self-respect, reconnect with their intuition, set boundaries without guilt and design lives anchored in strengths and values rather than approval.
'This isn't about becoming someone new, it's about creating space for the woman you buried beneath expectations, rules and roles,' Caitlin says.
Good Girl, Goodbye arrives amid growing conversations around women's mental health, safety, the gender data gap, invisible labour, nervous system regulation and the long-term cost of 'coping'.
It invites women to stop trying to fix themselves and start coming home to themselves.
Good Girl, Goodbye
by Caitlin Judd
Wiley ANZ
RRP: $29.99
