Liar! Liar!
TO LIE OR NOT TO LIE...THAT IS THE QUESTION???
Nobody likes to be called a liar, but is it okay to lie sometimes? We often hear the tired excuses "it was just a white lie" or "it won't hurt anyone". But is that always the case?
People can lie for many different reasons. Often when someone refers to a 'white lie', they believe it is a lie told to keep someone from getting hurt or suffering embarrassment. They may say they are lying to protect someone or they may be lying to earn brownie points. They may even be trying to impress someone or gain attention.
Either way, people will come up with as many excuses as possible, but I bet you that nine times out of ten, the liar is really trying to protect him or herself!
The liar is either not wanting to tell the truth about how someone looks or it could be something far more serious, such as cheating on a partner.
For example, your friend gets a new haircut. You really think she looks like a disaster, like a complete geek, but what do you tell her? You say she looks "cute".
Why did you lie?
To protect yourself. You don't want to make her feel awful and watch her face crumple as she starts to cry. You don't want to be the one to make her feel like a dud.
But believe me, there is a better way! Tell her the TRUTH!
You don't have to tell her she looks like the dog's breakfast or that she looks really awful, and that there is no way you will be seen with her in public.
But you can tell her the truth; just use some tact and be gentle. Tell her you don't think this style really highlights her best features. Or suggest that a different hairstyle might suit the shape of her face much better.
She is your friend after all and am sure you would want to be told if you looked like a joke!
So, tell her the truth.
Lying to protect yourself from a more serious matter, such as cheating on your boyfriend is a big mistake.
I guarantee you that by lying you will go insane trying to remember stories you have told or excuses you have made up. You will constantly feel agitated and my guess is you won't sleep too well at night.
The best result is to tell the truth or not put yourself in that situation in the first place.
AND, if you are lying to protect someone, don't do it. If your best friend's boyfriend is cheating or you saw him kiss another girl, you HAVE to tell her. Even if she is really in love with him, and you think that she will never believe you, you must tell her.
If I were placed in that particular situation, I would rather know in my heart that I told my friend. Imagine if a few months down the track she discovers the truth and you hadn't told her and to top it all off, she finds out you knew!
The result: a very nasty situation indeed! Goodbye best friend? Definitely the most likely outcome.
Remember, once you tell one lie, yes just one little white lie and you get discovered, your credibility as someone who can be trusted will dissolve very quickly!
So the resolution at the end of all this is to TELL THE TRUTH!!!
- Michelle Palmer (michelle@girl.com.au)
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