Janitor / Freelance Web Journalist

  1. Name
    Seymour Monkey


  2. Age
    Somewhere between weekly rental and bargain bin.


  3. Job Title
    Janitor /Freelance Web Journalist


  4. Job Description
    Changing peoples ingrained attitudes and stereotypes through insightful, thought provoking journalism, plus changing those little yellow cubes in the urinal in the gents.


  5. Hours (per week)
    Creatively pushing the boundaries of the Australian journalistic landscapes (10-12 hours per week). Preparing written retractions and responding to court orders and subpoenas (28-30 hours per week).


  6. What was your first job?
    The Shell servo in Sydney Road, though the jacks will never pin it on me. Oh you mean work? ... Sorry. Can we scrap that and put delivering newspapers or something?


  7. What inspired you to choose the particular career you're working in now?
    The desire to project my inner most feelings and emotions in a creative endeavour, the freedom inherent in global publishing over the web and the chance to meet those cute Girl.com.au chicks!


  8. What qualifications are needed to work in this field?
    The patience of Mandela, the wisdom of Yoda and the credit limit of Scrooge McDuck.


  9. What are the best aspects about your job?
    Getting to throw obscure Star Wars and Disney comics references into survey questionnaires.


  10. What are the worst aspects?
    Realising that the Girl.com.au demographic have probably never heard of Scrooge McDuck and Yoda.


  11. How many years' experience do you have in this field?
    Too many to be classed a rookie and not enough for a tacky gold watch.


  12. Are there many employment opportunities?
    As long as there are dodgy business ideas there will be a dot.com to the rescue. Of course this statement is a gross exaggeration and inserted for satirical counterpoint, not a reflection on this journalists opinion of any current or future employers or publishers.


  13. Other related careers
    Amway salesman, religious zealot (somehow they don't advertise many Missionary positions)

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