Because I Love You
'It's true that guidance should only ever be offered if sought, but this is a document you can pick up, dip into and throw at the wall" – Barbara Toner.
How many mothers talk openly to their daughters about how to have great sex? Or how to seduce a man, impress the in-laws, lie when necessary, quit smoking ('fantastic though it is" says Barbara), manage your bikini line and enjoy great cleavage?
Barbara Toner, mother of three adult daughters, writes Because I Love You as a way to tackle life's eternal dilemmas.
Sex and seduction
How to get married
Getting a mortgage
Making a good impression
The meaning of life (and why you shouldn't get bogged down with it)
And much, much more
This is a book for all women – mothers, daughters, sisters, aunties, girlfriends. Because I Love You is Barbara's heart-felt, witty and wise attempt to steer us clear of anything that might threaten, embarrass, shock or confuse us. Determined not to turn us into the next Pollyanna, 'who was a drip", Barbara offers genuine words of wisdom for the modern day woman, with just a hint of sass.
Why can't all mothers be like that?
Barbara Toner is an acclaimed author and columnist who has written extensively about family life in all its manifestations with all its glorious intricacies, both in fiction and nonfiction. She has three daughters and lives on the far south coast of New South Wales, Australia.
Because I Love You: A Mother's Advice To Her Daughters
Allen and Unwin
Author: Barbara Toner
Interview with Barbara Toner
Question: How have your three daughters responded to the book?
Barbara Toner: They are very generous about stuff that I do. I don't think they feel overly burdened by the advice because as they pointed out, I've said it all before, probably more than once.
Question: Why was it so important that you spoke to your daughters about the nitty and gritty of life, so openly?
Barbara Toner: Our family likes to tackle the nitty and the gritty. We have always spoken freely and frankly to each other and to be honest, committing the advice to paper was as much for me as for them. Once it was in book form, there was no getting away from it… And by turning it into a book, I avoided their contradictions which would have interrupted my flow had I sat them all down to harangue them. I can't swear that my advice will be taken or even that it's worth taking but a mother likes to think she won't die without having imparted something to her children that could turn out to be crucial - even if it's just how much she loves and respect them.
Question: What are your tips for making a good impression to potential in-laws?
Barbara Toner: Make it quietly. Over exuberance, any exuberance really, is overwhelming on first meeting. Show a modest interest in their lives without looking nosey or critical; don't assume they find their child as annoying as you might (no joking about his table manners, for instance, which will be theirs); don't venture any strong opinion that might alienate them permanently. Just because you're in love with their child, they might not vote the way you do or feel the same way about sashimi. If you don't like them, or find them odd, do your intended the courtesy of not showing it until you're in the car.
Question: Why do you think more mothers should openly chat to their daughters, like you have?
Barbara Toner: I don't thinking they should necessarily. Each family to its own. Some function much better without endless chatting because they don't have endless chatting in their DNA. I'm positive some families run a mile from too much information because they are all private individuals. On the other hand, if chatting is up your alley then there's a lot to be said for airing concerns to people who love you and who can reassure you that the rest of the world isn't always right about everything.