Country Boy, City Girl

Please help me. I am 17 years old. I am about to leave my family and go to Uni in Brisbane to start my bachelor of psychology degree. I have moved my whole life, lived around Australia and in Africa.

Moving isnt a huge thing for me. Before Brisbane, I lived in a small mining town 8 hours away and got involved in a very serious relationship with someone 2 years older than me. He has lived in this town all his life, the whole time promising me that he was going to move to Brisbane. I didn't want to get to close to him knowing I was moving but with his constant reassurance, I let him in. Our relationship was above my years, my parents were away frequantly and he supported me and lived with me during these times.

I have been on holidays in Sydney for the past 2 months and I've have seen him twice. He now tells me he can't move to a city but he doesn't want to give me up and i don't want to give him up. I can't ever live in a country town again and he can't live in a city. We want two different lives but still want to be with each other.

He says he might try to live in Brisbane but I don't think he will ever make it. Country life is all he has ever known, he has no family, he has no idea about living or getting a job or finding a house. I don't want to make him miserable.

Do we try the long distance relationship, do I give him up or do I wait for him?
Marina


Charmaine:
You sound and act much older than your years. You said yourself the relationship with this boy was too grown-up for you. What concerns me is that you're losing your precious teenage years. Long-distance relationships are very difficult for even mature people, let along someone of your age. I really think you would only be bringing yourself a lot of heartache if you were to pursue this. There's also the complication of your incompatibility in regard to living location. Love is not enough - you need some basic values in common and these you don't seem to have.

Why not keep in touch without a binding commitment? Agree to see other people and enjoy your separate lives even if you continue to care about each other. Let the future take care of itself.






Body Talk Column is hosted by Charmaine Saunders. www.charmainesaunders.com

Send your requests to girl@girl.com.au attention Charmaine.

MORE