Breakup after Moving

I'm 19 and recently moved state to go to university. My boyfriend and Ihad been seeing each other for 18 months before we broke up last week. We still really love each other, its just the distance became too hard and as I feellike I'm too young to make a definite 'forever' commitment.

It started to feel pointless as because of study and work commitments, I'llbe here for at least 6 years. We had been best friends for years and he knows me betterthan anybody in the world. Since we broke up, I've talked to him a lot byphone and my housemates are starting to tell me that if I want to move on, I should limit how much contact I have with him because I've been calling himevery night since the break up. The conversations feel normal, we just chatlike we always did. Do you think that I'm kidding myself into thinking wecan have such close contact directly after the break up and still move on?
Cindy

Charmaine:
It's very understandable that you would want to hold onto the contactbecause you still care about the guy but I'm afraid I have to agree withyour friends. You've made an incredibly brave and difficult decision - nowyou have to uphold it. You won't be able to move on at all otherwise. You'llstay in some sort of limbo world which won't do either of you any good.

What I suggest is that you begin by cutting down on the number of dailycalls then gradually miss a day or two till you feel able to go a few dayswithout him. You are stronger than you know. Soon, you'll separateemotionally in a way that is comfortable for you. Later, you can be `bestfriends' again but right now, create some much-needed space.

Give yourself and him the chance to meet other people or at least, not relyon each other quite so much for right now.




Body Talk Column is hosted by Charmaine Saunders. www.charmainesaunders.com

Send your requests to girl@girl.com.au attention Charmaine.