Nurturer Complex

Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl and I live in Melbourne. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, we're very serious and I love him so much. I know he loves me too, but he goes out with other girls quite a bit. I don't mind so much that he goes out with other girls but they're always depressed and he always wants to cheer them up. I feel like he's forgetting about me, especially if I'm depressed - all he wants to do is cheer them up.

The other day, I found a sent message on his phone to another girl, (I wasn't being nosy I was just trying to find a message he sent to me) and she has been a bit down lately because her boyfriend broke up with her a few months ago. The message was very long and at the end, it said "love ya, gorgeous". I was so upset and I felt like he really was losing interest in me. I know she's depressed but should I be mad about it? I mean I'm supposed to be his girlfriend, the one he loves and I don't know if I'm being too insecure or not. Please help me! Thank you.
Laura

Charmaine:
Isn't there supposed to be an unwritten rule that `lova ya' is for friends and `love you' is for lovers? If that's true, his message to that girl was merely one of support.

Having said that, I think your guy has a nurturer complex which means he will constantly seek out lame ducks and people in trouble. You have to decide if you can put up with this. It would take a very strong, confident person to trust in his love and allow him to protect and spend time with other girls.

Just from what you've told me, it seems he sincerely cares about you but you can't ask him to be a different person. You're very young and shouldn't have to be so intense about your first serious relationship. You should be having fun and maybe you need a guy who pays more attention to you. Think about it and decide.




Body Talk Column is hosted by Charmaine Saunders. www.charmainesaunders.com

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