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The Dangers of Sleep Deprivation

The Dangers of Sleep Deprivation

Was your childhood like mine?

Mine consisted of many a late night sitting up way past my bedtime watching Knot's Landing with mum and our next door neighbour dunking bickies in our cuppa tea. I wanted to be 'Paige" played by Nicolette Sheridan. Who didn't! It was hard to get to sleep though after seeing her dressed in her classy red mini skirts and matching tailored jacket with red heels that in hindsight, were never going to be high enough for me in my adult life… but I digress.

I'd lay in bed (footy jumper on over my baggy Mickey Mouse nightie) hoping to grow up exactly like her. Turns out I didn't. But I am still a night owl and when I eventually go to bed after watching old re-runs on Eleven, I lay there thinking 'Alyssa Milano was just as attractive in Charmed as she was in 'Who's The Boss" and ' Why can't they air Melrose Place instead of Judging Amy?" It wasn't until recently after almost buying a Bowflex that I wondered if all these late nights had deprived me of quality sleep and if I should contemplate buying a new mattress instead! Had there been a late night 30min advertorial spruiking mattress sales, I'd have bought ten!

Later that night, again way past my bedtime, I felt compelled to investigate the dangers of sleep deprivation. I learned we as humans are supposed to be asleep for a third of our lives. Shoosh! Up! Who knew! With all my late nights consisting of Frasier, Friends and Thin Lizzy, I estimated I've been asleep for only 1/6th of my life. Instead of my insides being in good shape thanks to the juicer and new Abtronic X2 I bought at 3am, I feel like a bucket of smashed crabs. And I look older too. And dehydrated. No amount of Thin Lizzy's gonna fix this mess (sorry Lizzy). Plus I'm cranky. And Bloated. I get headaches all the time as well. And I have trouble concentrating and I'm noticing I forget stuff more often. Then I'm over tired and can't sleep. And then, the cycle repeats itself. I now live on caffeine and sugar. And then I crave something fatty. I'm a vegetarian who last weekend at the footy craved a meat pie and then ate one! And THEN…just kidding but who am i? What have I become? I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. It's fair to say, I'm a danger. But not in a sexy, bad girl way, I'm too tired for that but I don't want to be a danger to myself or anyone else. And I do want to be a sexy bad girl but in a good way. Therefore, this has to stop! I have to get to bed and sleep for a third of my remaining life.

Solution: as much as I don't want to admit this due to rising energy costs, I'm going to have to start putting the heater on really high to help zonk myself out while sipping on a glass of wine. I'm not sure dry heat set on high and alcohol is going to aid my aging, dehydrated skin but cos I'm sleep deprived, this sounds like the best solution and I know I can always rely on my new best friend, Nanoblur.

So if your childhood was anything like mine, it's probably 3am now as you read this while simultaneously channel surfing, dunking a bickie in your cuppa tea wishing they'd replace Star Trek with Knot's Landing and questioning who the hell watches Star Trek anyway.


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