Does My Bum Look Big In This?
How many times have we asked nervous boys that question? You know that most people are too polite to say 'yes it does look a bit large'. But with kids and well-meaning friends who are perhaps a little too honest, you're setting yourself up for disaster.
While it might seem funny to us now, by asking children about the shape of your body parts or making disparaging remarks about yourself or other people's body shape sets a precedent in their young minds of what is supposed to be normal or abnormal. See, we really do learn from our elders!
We also need have to be careful of constant comparisons with movie stars and models. Despite what videos and other snake-oil vendors promise, you can never be Cindy Crawford or Ricky Martin. These people have a team of make up artists, graphic designers and millions of dollars behind them. Even Quasimodo would look good with that kind of support! Besides that, the so-called beautiful people have no more control over their genes than you do.
It's way too easy to make snap judgements on people based solely on their appearance. Overweight people are branded as lazy, Middle Eastern men as sleazy, attractive people as 'up themselves', wealthy people as 'tight'. The list goes on. Hands up who DOESN'T sit on a train or at a cafe and rate people!
Our society also equates beauty with 'goodness'. Just think of any popular fairytale. Plain or so-called ugly people are apparently not as nice as pretty people. And pity poor stepmothers!
I still remember reading the letters section of girl's mags years ago. Some of the girls were anxious about their breasts being "too far apart", or their "labia lips being too long". Only last year, an acquaintance was commenting on how ugly someone's hands were and how she always looked at people's hands when she met them.
It had never entered my mind to look at someone's hands. The horrible thing is, I do now! And I have to keep reminding myself what a shallow way of thinking this is. She has unwittingly set a precedent in my mind, and I'm an adult.
Think about this old saying: "if you can't say something nice, then say nothing." Next time you're about to comment on somebody's appearance, or criticise yourself, maybe take a second to think about it first.
"My thighs are fat." Says who? Your legs have done a fine job so far! How dare anybody criticise your legs. In fact, if it weren't for my legs, I wouldn't be enjoying a regular stroll around the neighbourhood.
"Her nose is too big." Really? I don't see Barbra Streisand having a problem with her nose. Strong people rise above mindless, petty criticism like that. So can we!
"You look nice." "Yeah, but look at my big bum." Please accept compliments. They don't come often enough. If someone takes the trouble to pay you one, they usually mean it.
Sounds too simplistic? Compare it to: 'yeah but she's got a big arse' or "she's hail damaged"! Which is the more intelligent stream of thought?
We are an odd society. What other culture would pay people to pour boiling wax on our skin and rip our hairs out in the name of beauty! Or inject animal products into our veins to produce big biceps?
But we all have something in common. We all want to be accepted and loved. Somewhere along the way, that has been hijacked by fashion moguls.
Being overweight is not healthy. But what's also not healthy is starving yourself and being miserable just because some silly magazine says that "thin is in". HEALTH IS IN. DIETS ARE NOT!
Here's a favourite quote from London University's Professor Tom Sanders:
"Dieting has become the Western world's answer to Chinese foot-binding. Institutionalised torture of women's' bodies."
Let's inject some reality back into life. Let's stop being so miserable about the way we look. Let's stop judging other people on their appearance. Let's get healthy so we can live longer. Let's WAKE UP AND SMELL THE CHOCOLATE!
- Kerryn Marlow
While it might seem funny to us now, by asking children about the shape of your body parts or making disparaging remarks about yourself or other people's body shape sets a precedent in their young minds of what is supposed to be normal or abnormal. See, we really do learn from our elders!
We also need have to be careful of constant comparisons with movie stars and models. Despite what videos and other snake-oil vendors promise, you can never be Cindy Crawford or Ricky Martin. These people have a team of make up artists, graphic designers and millions of dollars behind them. Even Quasimodo would look good with that kind of support! Besides that, the so-called beautiful people have no more control over their genes than you do.
It's way too easy to make snap judgements on people based solely on their appearance. Overweight people are branded as lazy, Middle Eastern men as sleazy, attractive people as 'up themselves', wealthy people as 'tight'. The list goes on. Hands up who DOESN'T sit on a train or at a cafe and rate people!
Our society also equates beauty with 'goodness'. Just think of any popular fairytale. Plain or so-called ugly people are apparently not as nice as pretty people. And pity poor stepmothers!
I still remember reading the letters section of girl's mags years ago. Some of the girls were anxious about their breasts being "too far apart", or their "labia lips being too long". Only last year, an acquaintance was commenting on how ugly someone's hands were and how she always looked at people's hands when she met them.
It had never entered my mind to look at someone's hands. The horrible thing is, I do now! And I have to keep reminding myself what a shallow way of thinking this is. She has unwittingly set a precedent in my mind, and I'm an adult.
Think about this old saying: "if you can't say something nice, then say nothing." Next time you're about to comment on somebody's appearance, or criticise yourself, maybe take a second to think about it first.
"My thighs are fat." Says who? Your legs have done a fine job so far! How dare anybody criticise your legs. In fact, if it weren't for my legs, I wouldn't be enjoying a regular stroll around the neighbourhood.
"Her nose is too big." Really? I don't see Barbra Streisand having a problem with her nose. Strong people rise above mindless, petty criticism like that. So can we!
"You look nice." "Yeah, but look at my big bum." Please accept compliments. They don't come often enough. If someone takes the trouble to pay you one, they usually mean it.
Sounds too simplistic? Compare it to: 'yeah but she's got a big arse' or "she's hail damaged"! Which is the more intelligent stream of thought?
We are an odd society. What other culture would pay people to pour boiling wax on our skin and rip our hairs out in the name of beauty! Or inject animal products into our veins to produce big biceps?
But we all have something in common. We all want to be accepted and loved. Somewhere along the way, that has been hijacked by fashion moguls.
Being overweight is not healthy. But what's also not healthy is starving yourself and being miserable just because some silly magazine says that "thin is in". HEALTH IS IN. DIETS ARE NOT!
Here's a favourite quote from London University's Professor Tom Sanders:
"Dieting has become the Western world's answer to Chinese foot-binding. Institutionalised torture of women's' bodies."
Let's inject some reality back into life. Let's stop being so miserable about the way we look. Let's stop judging other people on their appearance. Let's get healthy so we can live longer. Let's WAKE UP AND SMELL THE CHOCOLATE!
- Kerryn Marlow
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