We know that vampires exist, and that we really, really want one. So how can you score your own gorgeous immortal? And how do you keep a relationship alive when your partner is one of the eternal undead?
Claire Hooper has a wealth of experience when it comes to dating guys who can't go out in sunlight, aren't suitable to introduce to your parents, and quite possibly have blood on their hands. In Love Bites she shares her insider's knowledge, taking you from go to whoa to vampire ho by answering questions such as:
'He's been around for hundreds of years. Are there any pick-up lines he hasn't heard?'
'I know vampires are really into virgins. Can I just tell him I am one? Or will he read my mind and find out the truth?'
'Does aloe vera work on fang holes? I need these ones to clear up fast, cos I have to wear an evening dress to a black-tie event next week.'
'If, like you say, he's watching me when I sleep, does that mean he's watching me when I pee?'
If it all goes according to plan, you'll also need to know how to wean him onto animal blood, where to put his coffin, and how to resolve that all-important eternal life question - will you, or won't you?
Love Bites: 101 Tips for Dating Guys with Fangs
Author: Claire Hooper
What inspired you to write Love Bites 101 Tips for Dating Guys with Fangs?
Claire Hooper: It wasn't actually my idea, but I was smart enough to recognise a fun book concept when it was suggested to me. I love vampire mythology, but not so much I couldn't enjoy taking the piss out of them a bit too.
Have you read any of the countless vampire romance books?
Claire Hooper: Yes, and best of all I got to call it all research. I also read the less romantic Anne Rice's Interview With the Vampire, the totally unromantic Bram Stoker's Dracula, and I treated myself to a smorgasbord of old 80s movie classics such as Lost Boys. They were a joyous couple of months.
Where did the 101 tips come from?
Claire Hooper: I started making a list of questions to answer. The first 50 were easy. The next 50 were hard. Then on the day the manuscript was due I realised I'd promised 101 tips, not 100 (switched-on readers may be able to tell the last one was an afterthought).
What are a couple of tips to help us score our own vampire?
Claire Hooper: Whatever you do, don't let him get the impression you're a fan of the Twilight series. Nothing creeps a vampire out like knowing you have unrealistic expectations of him, and that there's every chance you'll push him out into sunlight to see him 'glitter'. That's all I'll give you for free.
Have you dated a vampire? Do you suggest we search for our own gorgeous immortal?
Claire Hooper: Sort of. I've dated some difficult men and many of them were secretive, pale and only came out at night, so whilst I can't be absolutely sure, I think we can all agree it's fairly likely there's at least one vampire there.