Q. I’ve recently had my heart broken by my boyfriend who is now my ex. It’s been really hard for me to let go and I think about him all the time. He won’t talk to me and I’m trying my best to keep the relationship going. He never gave me a hint about breaking up.

A few weeks ago, he was so in love with me and now, I’m nobody to him. How did this happen? How do I start to move on and begin forgetting him.

Charmaine:
I’ll start at the end and work back. You will start to move on when YOU decide to let go. Even though this guy took away your power of choice about the relationship, only you can decide what you feel now. It’s obviously all over so waste no more energy in holding on. Let yourself grieve, cry, heal - give it some time and you WILL feel better.

As far as why, which is of course what we always want to know after a break-up, I can offer you two insights - either he was under a romantic illusion about you and realised he didn’t really love you or he did love you and then got confused and/or afraid and pulled away. This is more common that you might realise. You didn’t say but were you with your boyfriend about 6 months? This is a crucial turning-point in a relationship and many don’t survive past this.

For now, go easy on yourself and don’t fall into the old trap of blame either of yourself or her. He may well be as much a victim of his feelings as you.





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