Dear Girl Q&A
Do you have a question? Or concern? Then look no further because Dear GIRL is here for you. Each month she will endeavour to give you the answers to all those questions you've wanted to ask!
So what are you waiting for girls?
Please note: questions can not be answered personally.
Submit your burning questions to:
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Dear Loner (NOT!),
First of all girlfriend, you are not a 'loner'. What you are experiencing is perfectly common. People feel isolated from their social group/s and affiliation/s once in a while. It is very important for us to feel like we belong. The feeling of belonging promotes confidence and a sense of security in our own self. It makes us feel needed, appreciated, and loved, in turn aiding in our personality development. Nevertheless, it is important to realise, however hard it may be, that circumstances change in life. The dynamics of friendships change. I suggest not giving up on your old circle of friends just yet. Take initiative by calling your friends more often and planning fun and interesting weekends. Or alternatively, try writing a letter to your friend/s. Express your feelings precisely. Then wait and see what happens. If there are still no positive changes after these efforts, you may have to accept that it is time to let go. It may be time for you to take the big step to make new friends. Unfortunately, there is no 'quick fix' solution or friendship pill I can give you. I wish there were! Friendship formation is a slow process. You can start by using the social networks already available to you. For instance, call up a cousin, or an old school friend, accept offers to go out with friends of your sister/brother, sit next to that shy girl sitting alone in class. There is also the option of joining a social or sporting club. All I can say is be persistent, patient and most of all confident. If you are experiencing difficulties with your friends or making new friends then low self-esteem may be the culprit. Focus on all the positive things you have to offer a friendship. May the force be with you my friend!
So what are you waiting for girls?
Please note: questions can not be answered personally.
Submit your burning questions to:
Dear Girl is here to help! GO TO > Dear Girl
Dear Girl,
Recently my group of friends has split up. There was one girl in our group who was really mean and who left our group, which was great for a little while, but then the whole group split up. Since then, they have all found a different group of people to hang around with except myself. I try to hang around them but I don't fit in as they have different friends now. I am trying to socialise with different people but it just doesn't work. I have confronted my former friends about it before and they try to include me in, for a little while but then everything just goes back to how it was. I get really upset about it all and end up crying because I used to have so many friends and we all had so much fun but now I feel like I don't have any friends. I miss how things used to be.
Signed Loner.
Recently my group of friends has split up. There was one girl in our group who was really mean and who left our group, which was great for a little while, but then the whole group split up. Since then, they have all found a different group of people to hang around with except myself. I try to hang around them but I don't fit in as they have different friends now. I am trying to socialise with different people but it just doesn't work. I have confronted my former friends about it before and they try to include me in, for a little while but then everything just goes back to how it was. I get really upset about it all and end up crying because I used to have so many friends and we all had so much fun but now I feel like I don't have any friends. I miss how things used to be.
Signed Loner.
Dear Loner (NOT!),
First of all girlfriend, you are not a 'loner'. What you are experiencing is perfectly common. People feel isolated from their social group/s and affiliation/s once in a while. It is very important for us to feel like we belong. The feeling of belonging promotes confidence and a sense of security in our own self. It makes us feel needed, appreciated, and loved, in turn aiding in our personality development. Nevertheless, it is important to realise, however hard it may be, that circumstances change in life. The dynamics of friendships change. I suggest not giving up on your old circle of friends just yet. Take initiative by calling your friends more often and planning fun and interesting weekends. Or alternatively, try writing a letter to your friend/s. Express your feelings precisely. Then wait and see what happens. If there are still no positive changes after these efforts, you may have to accept that it is time to let go. It may be time for you to take the big step to make new friends. Unfortunately, there is no 'quick fix' solution or friendship pill I can give you. I wish there were! Friendship formation is a slow process. You can start by using the social networks already available to you. For instance, call up a cousin, or an old school friend, accept offers to go out with friends of your sister/brother, sit next to that shy girl sitting alone in class. There is also the option of joining a social or sporting club. All I can say is be persistent, patient and most of all confident. If you are experiencing difficulties with your friends or making new friends then low self-esteem may be the culprit. Focus on all the positive things you have to offer a friendship. May the force be with you my friend!
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