Dear Girl Q&A


Dear Girl Q&A
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Dear Girl,

I am having hassles with my parents at the moment because they want me to study law at university next year but I really want to pursue an acting career, as I believe I have the talent and enthusiasm to succeed. My two older brothers both studied law, so my parents feel that I should follow the same career path. This is causing me great stress as law isn't what I want to study but I know that if I don't, my parents will probably disown me. I am constantly arguing with my parents and brothers about my future plans but they just don't understand where I'm coming from.

Signed Pressured.

Dear Pressured,

Oh, yes. I have heard this problem many times before. That is, parents living vicariously through their children. Your parents obviously want the very best future for you. They wish for your happiness, success and security in life. Law in our society is equated with success, status and wealth; which are most often than not, perceived as ingredients for a happy and fulfilling life. And yes, you should respect and be thankful to your parents. However, I too agree that your parents should (ideally) equally respect your personal wants, needs, goals, and aspirations as an individual in this world. The question for you is whether you are really prepared to sacrifice your wants and all, for them. Many people aspire to meeting their career goals as it represents an important facet of who they are and provides them with a feeling of satisfaction, a sense of achievement and great drive. I present to you, two different scenarios: (A) If you study law, you will probably not enjoy it, hence, you will most probably not be successful in the subject in terms of marks and the maintenance of your motivation. And you will most probably experience low self-esteem, and also a deep resentment and blame towards your parents. (B) If you pursue your career aspiration of becoming an actor, you will most probably succeed given your drive and determination and, hence, you will feel confident in your abilities as well as fulfilled. Initially, your parents may feel disappointed with your decision but they may change their minds once they see your 'success' for themselves. The saying, 'talk is cheap' is pertinent here. Yes, there is bound to be some tension and inter-relational challenges between you and your parents in both scenarios. The real question for you is what is it that you want out of life? Be brave, girlfriend.

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